Long ago, God summoned the dog, the monkey, the cow and the Human.

God turned first to the dog and said...
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking... How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed...

Then next God turned to the monkey and said...
"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh... For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform...
How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God agreed.

Then next God turned to the cow and said...
"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun...
have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of tough life you want me to live for sixty years... How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again.

Then the last, God turned to his favored creation the human and said...
"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; ... that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Two years ago, while at work, I noticed several of my co-workers engrossed in a discussion. I gathered that they were talking about a book or document of some sort, and as the day passed I became intrigued by what had so captivated their minds.

I finally asked one of my coworkers what they were all so fascinated by. He looked at me a bit awkwardly and said, “I don’t know if we should tell you,” suggesting that the reason had to do with me being a devout Latter-day Saint.

Of course, that only made me more interested to find out what they had all been talking about. I pressed him on the subject and he divulged the name of a 90-page document discussing one man’s reasons for rejecting the LDS Church. I had heard of the document before (it’s one of the more popular pieces of anti-Mormon literature produced in recent years), but never thought to read it.

This time I decided I would.

I found the document on-line and began reading. I didn’t expect to do more than skim over it, but ended up reading the document rather closely.

As someone who has studied argumentation and rhetoric, I was immediately struck by the subtle tools of deception used by the author. Whether the author was purposely relying on misleading presentation techniques, I do not know. But I do know that the most emotionally impactful parts of the document were based on deeply flawed logic and zero substance.

However, I did learn things about Church history that surprised me. Obviously it was impossible to have all the context, but some of what was true was enough to leave me feeling pretty unsettled.

I was suddenly plunged into confusion. Many of the claims made by anti-Mormons were based in half-truths, presentation tricks, and outright lies, and yet some of what was true seemed to have no good or plausible explanation and simultaneously could not simply be brushed aside as unimportant details.

In the midst of this confusion, Brittney and I prayed and considered the implications. For the first time in many years, we asked with uncertainty: was Joseph Smith really a prophet? Is this really Christ’s Church?

Before serving my mission I had a life-changing testimony experience. But as I looked back on that experience, I realized that the powerful witness I had received centered on Jesus Christ and God’s love, not on Joseph Smith or the Restored Church. Brittney’s experience was similar.

Of course, we had felt assurances of peace about the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, and the Restored Church. But these experiences were temporarily overshadowed by some of the surprising things we had learned.

So, we found ourselves praying to God, saying, “We know that there is a Christ, but if this isn’t His Church, we aren’t afraid to leave what we have for something more.”

The morning after fasting about our concerns, I received an answer as I studied my scriptures.

I didn’t really know where I wanted to study that morning, so I took my Bible off the shelf, opened it haphazardly, and began reading.

As I read, I became engrossed in an account of faith, doubt, and questions that the Jews and Christ’s disciples had faced 2000 years ago. I quickly saw striking parallels to dilemmas of doubt faced by Church members today. And perhaps even more powerfully, I saw that there were others in the scriptures, like me and my wife, who had sincere questions that seemed unanswerable.

At first, the passage discussed the doubts of people who never really had a testimony and didn’t care to seek for one. They said things like:

“Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How is it then that he saith, “I came down from heaven?”” and “What sign shewest thou then, that we may see, and believe thee?”

The first question points out a seeming logical inconsistency with one of Christ’s claims and the second asks, in essence, “if what you say is true, where is the evidence?”

These questions would be easily answered and dismissed by Christ’s disciples (maybe not to the satisfaction of the critics, but at least to their own satisfaction).

But Jesus’ disciples were about to face a doubt that would not be so easily dismissed.

You see, Christ proceeded to teach the following:

“I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live forever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh…”

As I read, I was struck by how absurd this statement would sound to someone who knew nothing about the atonement, nothing about the symbolism of the sacrament. It would have sounded like Jesus was literally saying that his disciples needed to eat his flesh in order to receive eternal life.

And that’s exactly what the Jews thought. Which is why many of them immediately began criticizing Christ:

“How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”

And even Christ’s disciples, those who had pressed forward in faith while others wrote Jesus off as a lunatic or demon, may have also thought Jesus’ statement was a little odd.

They may have expected that Christ would clear up the misconception, but they were sorely mistaken.

Christ continued:

“Verily, verily, I say unto you: Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood ye have no life in you. Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life. For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.”

That is strong and strange language considering an audience that is unfamiliar with Christ’s atoning sacrifice.

Suddenly, even the strongest of Christ’s disciples had to wonder, at least for a moment, “maybe the critics are right. Perhaps Jesus isn’t a prophet or the Son of God. Maybe he really is a lunatic; perhaps he really is possessed of a devil.”

The scriptures then read:

“Many of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is a hard saying; who can hear it? [And] from that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.”

Sad isn’t it? That some of Christ’s disciples turned away from the Savior because something he said seemed more controversial than it really was. How foolish to ignore all they had experienced as they walked with Christ and pondered his teachings–the joy and peace that they had experienced… all because they didn’t fully understand one small aspect of His ministry. Oh, if only they had waited for the full context.

I realized then that considering all of my experiences with the Book of Mormon, pondering the teachings of modern and ancient prophets, sharing the Gospel as a missionary, etc., I could wait until all the context was revealed regarding a couple of incidents here and there that, honestly, are anomalies relative to the whole of Church history.

I also realized that there was nowhere else I could go to be brought closer to Christ. Every avenue I considered required me to abandon knowledge about Christ that I knew was true but that I had learned through the Restored Church.

So, like Simon Peter, there were things I didn’t fully understand, things that had led others to doubt and reject the Restored Gospel. But when faced with the question: “Will ye also go away?” I knew my response had to be: “Where else shall I go?”

The source of this article can be read in Why we didn't leave the LDS church even after

My father was one of the most faithful men I know. He served a mission to England in the 1950s. He was married to my mother in the Logan Temple. He was a bishop, a Scoutmaster, a Gospel Doctrine teacher. He served a second mission with my mother. When confined to a wheelchair and suffering from Alzheimer's disease, he was found at 2 a.m. crawling down the hall in the rest home on his knees and elbows. Why? "I'm afraid it's the end of the month; I have to do my home teaching," he said. He was also one of the smartest people I know. He was a college engineering professor, an amazing car mechanic, a computer wizard, and the author of the definitive college textbook in his field. When I was growing up, I heard him say more than once that if he lived by the standards of the Church and obeyed the commandments and heeded the prophets and then died and it was not true, he would still choose to do the same thing because it was a great way to live. It was the way to be happy.

I've similarly been highly active in church service all my life. As people very close to me, whom I thought were solid in their testimonies and whom I consider intelligent, left the Church, I've put his words to the test, and he is always right: They never become happier than those who remain in the Church. They never become happier than they were themselves as members. They may feel a reduction in cognitive dissonance from things they thought they knew versus things they find out, or from sins they would like to commit versus commandments against those sins. They may feel much smarter than members. They may enjoy some things about their new lifestyle, but they are never supremely joyful like they were before. And they usually become more fearful about life and problems.

I could be wrong about what I believe just as my Dad thought he could have been wrong, but I think he was right because shortly after his death, I received a new calling to the Relief Society Presidency. As the bishopric placed their hands on my head, my father's hands were suddenly there, too--there was no doubt about it in my mind; light and heat flowed down through my body and my heart just about exploded. He had the Priesthood here, he still had it there, and he wanted me to know he was proud that I was serving the Lord's church.

One of our Sunday School teachers was baptized into the Church when she was 35 years old. As the only member of the Restored Church in her family and living in what some call the “buckle” of the “Bible Belt”, her membership was often challenged—particularly by close family members.

One day her brother arrogantly came to her and said, “If I could prove to you that the founder of your Church was an unrespectable good-for-nothing, a gold digger, etc.… would you leave your Church?”

She responded, “Well, yes.”

He got really excited and said, “Well, let me tell you about that Joseph Smith.”

She politely interrupted him and said, “No, you’d have to tell me about Jesus Christ because He is the founder of my Church.”

Her brother didn’t know what to say. And that was the end of the discussion.

This convert’s response teaches an important lesson: We are not responsible for explaining or defending every action and choice of every prophet God has ever called—whether it be Joseph Smith or Moses or Thomas S. Monson.

When we have a testimony that Jesus Christ founded this Church and still leads it today, the alleged missteps of His servants—whether partially true, completely true, exaggerated, or totally false—all become less significant to us.

A Christ-centered testimony makes it easier to “give Brother Joseph a break” because we realize that our membership in the Restored Church is rooted not in illusions of a perfect prophet but in the confirmation we receive that Jesus is the head of this Church.

Britt and I have discovered that when our testimonies are rooted in Christ, we are always able to fall back on the question, “Where can I go to find the words of Eternal Life?” With a testimony that Christ lives, we invariably realize that nowhere do we learn more of Him and His truth than in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Where else could we go and still have temples, priesthood authority, modern Revelation, etc.—all of which so powerfully help us come unto Christ, the Redeemer.

So, let them say what they will of Joseph Smith because Christ is at the head of this Church.

And because that is the case, “no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done.”

One fine sunday morning, as I'm about to park the car in the chapel I receive a text from a friend. The text contained a link that will redirect me to a video of a testimony from a return missionary who decided to opt-out himself from the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Of why he sent me the link during Sunday, that I do not know or maybe he is just concerned of me being a member of the Church. I have to share this because I believe that we have a lot of members too that are just standing in the clif and as vulnerable as a single push then fall. The following contents are our exchange messages.

 

---

Me
With regards to the speaker, I will absolutely respect his opinion, decisions and that's what actually the main reason why we are no in bondage of Satan, because we are given a free will, free to choose of what we believe in. It's how we live our life and focus to be Christ like in everyday of our life. Goodluck to the guy but I have disagree few of his self idea that through numbers of his conversions can make his missionary successful and great. It's how he deligently serve his mission through faith that will determine how successful and wonderful his mission would be.

Friend
We have to read and reflect the missionary journey of apostle Paul who use by God in the book of Acts to proclaim the good news. The good news is Jesus death on the cross and resurrection to restore relationship to God. In Ephesians it says “for it is by grace that you have been save, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works so that no one can boast.” therefore We are not save by being a missionary, being good, or member of a church we are save for the salvation for everyone who believes Rom 1:16

The pastor in the clip that I send you said we must be a child to read the gospel with open and contrite heart. The Holy Spirit will reveal to us the treasures of his faithfulness and his righteousness. Not by might or power but by the spirit who brings forth wisdom and truth.

To be honest bro and as your friend my opinion is Mormonism is a non Christian cult because it denies the doctrines that makes Christianity what is it. The bible says in Isaiah 43:10;44:6, 45:5 there's only one God but Mormonism said that there are many gods (pls seeMormon doctrine page 163). There are plenty of doctrines in Mormonism that are in contrary what the bible truly teaches. I'm a catholic before however, their doctrines too are far out.

Me
But we are all missionary, we share our faith and testimony that Christ lived. As James 2:17 quote "Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone."

If that's what you believe bro, I respect your opinion, but I'm in church now and I will reply you after our church.

Friend
In Hebrews 11 it says Faith Is confidence inn what we hope for and assurance what we do not see this is what the ancients are commended for. Without faith we it’s impossible to please God.

 

--After Church--

 

Me
I will ask you Bro. What is Christian faith in your own opinion?

I will invite you to read the foundation of the Church which is The Book of Mormon and ponder, pray and ask God if this book is not true. In the contrary of your though that doctrines are far out then read Isaiah 55:8-9 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declared the Lord.

This is our faith, we believe of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost and are not one personage, but I and we believe that they are one in purpose. You mention about many God's, now here is my challenge to you Bro. What are other God's that "Mormonism" are preaching?.

I am also interested to know what are other contradictory teaching and doctrines from The Church of Jesus Christ on the Latter Day Saints of what are in the Bible.

Btw.we use King James as it's the closest interpretation from the original manuscript and minimized the alteration of the meaning per religions favour.

Friend
Bro google why Mormonism is a cult? Then use exegesis as a tool to interpret scriptures. You can use different bible translations or the Hebrew equivalent of a word.

We use kjv too, however in interpreting bible passages we use other translations, commentaries and extra biblical materials.

You may also be interested in reading history of Christianity.

Me
Ow so Google now is expert in Mormonism... Before I became a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I did all my homework and other Commentaries from diffrent anti mormons and what you shared is not new to me.. But James quote, if you have doubt you ask God, I cannot afford to put spiritual risk from Google, for sure a lot of people out there persecute the Church before and until now, what do I expect, even during Christ a persecution is already present.

But i am looking forward to your answer of my first question, what is Christian religion to you that you able to say that The Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints is not really Christian but a cult.

If you really have faith in Christ bro, Christ will manefist unto you through the Holy Ghost and He will testify the truthfulness of the Gospel. I am interested to know which doctrine of The Church of Jesus Christ that you found it very hard to believe.

I already explain to you about the 3 God Head, the Father, the Son which is Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost.. We praise no angels nor saints unlike other religion and now people accuse us to have more God's that we praise. Come on Bro

Bro. I have read the Ephesians that you quote, and I think bro you misinterpret the quote. In Ephesians 2, Paul address this to the Gentile who have not known Christ in there lives, and because of that, whatever sin they committed in the past are not held against them, and so this quote "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:" applies... In continuation of that, jump to chapter 4 verse 24-32, it talks about baptism and sin no more.. Otherwise you are now accountable of your sin. Paul does a missionary work to the Gentiles if you have notice.

The quote you have shared is dependent to the entire chapter and can be misguided if you close your mind to the single quote itself.

Friend
Hi Bro, Wow there’s a lot questions he he. Pls don’t take this as personal, we are all seekers right. Your first question why Mormon a cult? Pls enlightened me on the fb:

1. God used to be a man on another planet (Mormon doctrine, ph 321, Joseph Smith,times and season, vol. 5, p 613-614; orson prat, journal discourse, vol 2, p345; Brigham young, journal discourses, vol7, p333)

2. God resides near a star called kolob, (pearl of great price,p34-35, Mormon doctrine p428,

3. The Father has a body of flesh n bones as tangibles as man’s ...(doctrines and covenants 130:22)

4. God is in the form of man (Joseph Smith, journal of discourse vol 6 p.3

5. God himself was once as we are now and is an exalted man and sits enthroned in yonder heavens ..,(teaching of prophet Joseph Smith p 345)

6. after you become a good Mormon, you have the potential of becoming god (teaching of Joseph Smith p.345-347, 354.

7. God is married to his goddess wife and has sprint children (Mormon doctrine p16)

8. The Trinity is 3 separate God’s (articles of faith by James Talmage p35. These are few based on Mormon doctrines?

Pls enlightened me on ths

Sorry, I made you think, Im also studying Jehovah’s Witness.

Me
Now let me have my attention first in the 3rd and 4th. The father has a flesh and bone. In the Genesis, "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness:..."(probably that already explain very well) even here it is very obvious that God spoke in plural form and maybe you will wonder who is with God during the creation (that would also address your 8th question). The 5th one is interesting because as Christian we believe that Jesus Christ came to earth and has flesh and bone and even bleed then still we have to ask the question. I will ask you to read this link for further knowledge in the mormons perspective - https://www.lds.org/ensign/1986/01/four-accounts-of-the-creation. Now, 6th and 7th question is also interesting though should you really be concern because God is married? or because a good "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" member has a potential of becoming God? I think you should be more worried about judging others by there faith. I will just add one important thing here, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints members does not worshipped other Gods' alongside with Heavenly Father and this clearly state by Jesus Christ when teaches us how to pray - (refer to Matthew 6:9-13). “As we reverently partake of the sacrament and attend the temple, we remember and worship our Heavenly Father and express our gratitude for His Son, Jesus Christ.”

We have doctrines that are not present in other Christians because if we were, then during the event before restoration, it would be easy for God to choose between what domination is Joseph Smith to be baptize, but instead God reveal to him that none of them are true and that's how the restoration begun. If you have notice, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are very close resemblance of how Jesus organize His church (see this video).

That Is why I ask you first. What is Christian faith to you? Because here is for me, "When we are baptized, we covenant to take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ. We renew this covenant when we partake of the sacrament, We fulfill this covenant by putting the Lord first in our lives, by striving to think and act as He would, and by standing “as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places”

I do not see how The Church of Jesus Christ becomes an anti Christian when every thing we did is always and always Christ centered.

My faith is personal so I take it very personal yet you are my friend and I love all my friends and I welcome them if they inquire or enlightenment. Faith must build not by a foundation of Man, but in the foundation built by God and the only one that can testify to you is the power of the Holy Ghost.

I fully respect your faith, your choices, your opinion, and I am very willing to help you when you desire and in the position of truly in need. I am sure Christ will do the same.

Most of the questions you addressed are deep though from a book of Abraham and only when you study with openness you can understand, but if you read it just to look for wrong or debate, you already have the answer that you are looking, because you are no longer a seeker but to hurt other side to win.. The Church of Jesus Christ do not Incourage debates because most of the debates are driven by close mindedness and pride individuals where the Holy Spirit do not dwell.

So my advice to you Bro. If you are truly a seeker, I will invite you to read the foundation of our Church, you ponder and pray and ask God if the book is not true. Just do what James 1:5 - "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." do not dive in deep doctrine yet. :D

 

--Next day--

 

Me
I have something for you to read bro. https://happiness-seekers.com/2016/10/17/why-we-didnt-leave-the-lds-church-even-after

Friend
Hi Bro sorry late reply. Thank you so much for the info. Your such a great friend. I wish no faith or religious differences can break our friendship. I love you and your family too bro. God bless.

---

EVERY member needs to understand this!

A lady went to the Bishop and said, "I won't be attending church anymore."

He said, "May I ask why?"

She said, " I see people on their cell phones texting and typing during the sacrament and other meetings. Some are gossiping, some just aren't living right, some are sleeping, some are staring at me! I never get home taught and never hold the 'best callings' there are just too many hypocrites."

The bishop was silent. Then he said, "Can I ask you to do something for me before you make your final decision?"

She said, "Sure, whats that?"

He said, "Take a spoon full of water and walk around the church two times and don't let any water fall on the floor. Can you do that?" She said, "Yes, I can do that!" She went and got a spoon full of water and walked around the church two times. She came back and proudly said, "It's done."

The bishop asked her, "Did you see anybody on their phone?; Did you see anyone gossiping?; Was anybody living wrong?; Did you see anyone sleeping?" She said, "I didn't see anything because I was so focused on this spoon, so the water didn't spill out."

He told her, "When you come to church, you should just focus on the Savior so that you don't fall. That's why Jesus said, "Come follow me, He did not say follow Mormons."

Don't let your relationship with God be determined by how others relate to God. Let it be determined by how focused you are with God."

Forgetfulness. This is a problem I have to struggle with every day of my life. My friends know me very well. They make sure they write it down on a piece of paper, they page me, they e-mail me things just to make sure I get reminded. Maybe I've learned to be too dependent on tools and aids such that my mind refuses to remember. But a little consolation seems available for forgetful people like me

According to Karen Bolla, a Johns Hopkins researcher. These are the things people most often forget:

And if you can't remember whether you've just done something, you join 38% of the population.

But forgetfulness can some times be very painful and tragic. Consider this story told by Tennessee Williams:

He tells a story of someone who forgot -- the story of Jacob Brodzky, a shy Russian Jew whose father owned a bookstore. The older Brodzky wanted his son to go to college.

The boy, on the other hand, desired nothing but to marry Lila, his childhood sweetheart -- a French girl as effusive, vital, and ambitious as he was thoughtful and retiring.

A couple of months after young Brodzky went to college, his father fell ill and died. The son returned home, buried his father, and married his love. Then, the couple moved into the apartment above the bookstore and Brodzky took over its management.

The life of books fits him perfectly, but it cramped hers. She wanted more adventure -- and she found it, she thought, when she met an agent who praised her beautiful singing voice and enticed her to tour Europe with a vaudeville company.

Brodzky was devastated. At their parting, he reached into his pocket and handed her the key to the front door of the bookstore. "You had better keep this," he told her, "because you will want it someday. Your love is not so much less than mine that you can get away from it. You will come back sometime, and I will be waiting."

She kissed him and left. To escape the pain he felt, Brodzky withdrew deep into his bookstore and took to reading as someone else might have taken to drink. He spoke little, did little, and could most times be found at the large desk near the rear of the shop, immersed in his books while he waited for his love to return.

Nearly 15 years after they parted, at Christmastime, she did return. But when Brodzky rose from the reading desk that had been his place of escape for all that time, he did not take the love of his life for more than an ordinary customer. "Do you want a book?" he asked.

That he didn't recognize he startled her.

But she gained possession of herself and replied, "I want a book, but I've forgotten the name of it."

Then she told him a story of childhood sweethearts. A story of a newly married couple who lived in an apartment above a bookstore. A story of a young, ambitious wife who left to seek a career, who enjoyed great success but could never relinquish the key her husband gave her when they parted. She told him the story she thought would bring him to himself.

But his face showed no recognition. Gradually she realized that he had lost touch with his heart's desire, that he no longer knew the purpose of his waiting and grieving, that now all he remembered was the waiting and grieving itself.

"You remember it; you must remember it -- the story of Lila and Jacob?"

After a long, bewildered pause, he said, "There is something familiar about the story, I think I have read it somewhere. It comes to me that it is something by Tolstoi."

Dropping the key, she fled the shop. And Brodzky returned to his desk, to his reading, unaware that the love he waited for had come and gone.

Tennessee Williams' 1931 story "Something by Tolstoi" reminds us how easy it is to miss love when it comes. Either something so distracts us or we have so completely lost who we are and what we care about that we cannot recognize our heart's desire.

We're all so engrossed in our business and career. We need to be ambitious. It's a rat race out there. We're doing it for our families, we reasoned. Yet tragedy strikes once the money is there but the people we care about have forgotten our love.

Listen. The most important things in this world are not things. They're people. They're relationships. For Christians it's not the Martha service but the Mary worship. I have to remind myself that I may forget names and faces but when it comes to important things such as these, I can't afford to forget. And neither should you.

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away. Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're to ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you'rewith, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact. Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will. So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you'vebecome ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason,the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life. If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthenyour marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens. Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

My mother-in-law was sick.

The flu had complicated what had been up until then an undiagnosed case of emphysema. She lay comatose in the Intensive Care Unit, hooked up to every piece of life support equipment the hospital offered. Now it looked like she might die. Hour by hour, another of her vital organs shut down. The only one still working was her strong heart.

According to the doctor, there was nothing to do but watch and wait.

Normally a talkative bunch, now we had nothing to say. "Because she's so tiny, I can only give her medication a drop at a time," the doctor said. "It's like pushing a wet noodle along a table."

None of us wanted to admit what was on our minds, but it was obvious from our faces that we each feared the worst. The mood in the room was grim; it was hard to smile even when one of the members of our local clergy stopped by to offer support and prayers.

After some time, my mother-in-law's nurse came in. She moved with authority, checking on each piece of machinery. At one point, I counted more than a dozen different lines and machines.

When she was through, I expected her to simply leave quietly. But instead, she went to the head of the bed. She stood there for a moment, studying my mother-in-law's face. Then very, very gently, she reached down and brushed a stray hair from her face. It was an act so unexpectedly tender and kind, it startled me.

"She has beautiful eyebrows," she said gently. Then she turned and left the room.

I stood there, dumbfounded. Beautiful eyebrows. All I could see were machines. For the first time since she had gotten sick, I saw the woman rather than her illness.

Robin's mother-in-law recovered fully. Although her emphysema has not gone away, her heart still beats strongly. And when she smiles, her eyebrows dance.

I spent the first four years of my life with a Kennedy half-dollar taped to my navel, thanks to my Grandma B.

No, I was not the smurf in a coin-laundering scheme. My Grandma had simply convinced Mom that my belly button would "go in" with a little coaxing from JFK.

The coin trick worked until twenty-four years later when, pregnant with my daughter, I again resorted to taping my protruding belly button.

My sister Diane was spared the belly coin, but she got to spend her formative years having her ears taped. No, Grandma wasn't confusing my sweet baby sis with a Doberman pinscher. She just knew that Diane's ears would "not stick out" if they were taped back daily.

My sister and I were blessed with very blond but very thin hair. Of course Grandma knew that if we kept getting our hair cut it would grow back thicker. I spent my toddler years looking like a blond salad bowl, but to this day my hair is very thin and very straight.

In grade school we gave up on the pixie cut (except for one-inch bangs) but Mom did try to curl my shoulder length strands the night before special occasions. Mom would wash my hair, glop it with "Dippity Do" setting gel and twist it into metal hair curlers covered by a lovely red handkerchief. After tossing and turning all night, my morning hair would be nice and wavy -- for about a half hour. To this day I have nightmares about those curling sessions and I jolt myself awake screaming "Dippity Don't!" I was a newlywed the first time my husband witnesssed this dream sequence and he spent the rest of the night debating whether to send me to a spa or Bellevue.

Other memories of my childhood include the typical sibling cat fights. Of course, I was careful not to pinch my brother with mom in view since she'd often warn us that "pinching causes cancer". That sage warning did not originate from the Surgeon General or even old Doc Pinney. The source... you guessed it -- Grandma!

Along with hitting and pinching, I also spent a fair share of toddlerhood sticking out my tongue and making pig faces. Contrary to many warnings, as far as I can tell my face didn't "stay that way". Now my brother may be another story... just kidding, Dennis.

My Grandmother died in 1996 from complications of emphysema. I miss her and truly wish she would have heeded the Surgeon General's admonishment against smoking. I remember as teens we often laughed at the sage advice passed along from Grandma to my Mom to Dennis, Darlene, and Diane. Now, in my thirties, I realize that the old wives tales and wacky advice were really "Grandma's Gift" of caring.

A few months ago my sister-in-law was commenting that it worried her that her tyke Emily had an "outie" belly button. I looked up and smiled before imparting my advice. "Well, Sandy, why don't you try putting tape on it at night?"

I ran into Sandy yesterday and she was amazed at the improvement regarding Emily's navel.

"I'm glad I took your advice," Sandy commented.

I couldn't help but grin. It feels good to be passing along "Grandma's Gift."

Darlene lives on a dairy farm in Wisconsin with her husband, two children, 70 Jersey cows, 2 dogs, 6 cats, and 1 ugly, smelly, goat (don't ask!) In between her full-time job in town, she's also enjoys writing stories and poems for children and humorous essays for anyone who loves a good "Heartwarming" laugh.

Dear Joe,

First of all, I would like to commend you on your column. Not only has sharing true-to-life experiences touched our emotions, but the advice that you give is very practical and straightforward.

My name is Jojo and I'm 28 years old, working full time in our family business. As a manufacturer, we often get calls from magazine and newspaper companies asking us to advertise on their periodicals. One time, a woman dropped by the office and offered me to promote our products on their magazine. Her name was Jenny and she was quite attractive. After a few meetings, I decided to consider her offer and reserve an ad.

From time to time, she would page me sweet nothings, like asking me to take care of myself, or to have a wonderful weekend. At first, I thought it was part of the business, but I remembered that I had given her the payment so it wasn't necessary to page me anymore.

Joe, she would often call me up at the office, around three to four times a day, and at home during the evening. It was during one of our conversations that I found out she was married and has two kids. I also found out that during her five-year marriage, her husband would often beat her up. I stood by her side to comfort her and as the days passed by, I couldn't help myself from caring for her.

Joe, Jenny was so sweet and kind to me. She would bake for me and bring lunch over at the office. One day, I was surprised when she paged me a message saying that she loves me.

It wasn't long when I learned she had left her husband and moved to her mother's place. We had a relationship and I never felt so happy. She was all I ever wanted in a woman. Her husband would often visit her and convince her to come back but it was all too late, or so I thought.

One morning I was told that she left for the province but I had a different feeling about it. Through my persistence, I was able to find out the truth that she went back to her husband. She told me it was all for the kids but she knew very well that I was willing to take her and her kids and treat them like my own.

So she went back to her mother's house because she realized she didn't want to lose me. I forgave her and accepted her. But just as our relationship was sailing perfectly well, she disappeared again. History repeated itself again. It was Christmas time and all I did was sulk and cry. She never even thought of how I would feel. I was really hurt, Joe.

She wanted to fix her life without me, so after all the waiting and patiently receiving the blows from her emotional frustrations and anger from her husband's lack of responsibility, I was left alone all over again. It was then that I finally decided to act on what is best for me.

It has been three months now. I am slowly coping with my everyday activities but I haven't fully recovered from this traumatic experience. I have never loved anyone like this. From time to time, Joe, I would still get painful lapses in my heart whenever I am reminded of her.

What is so painful is that she was the one who made the first move towards having a relationship. Why didn't she consider what I would have felt? Why did she let me fall in love with her? She knew she was married, so why did she allow herself to fall for someone else?

Even if everyone disagrees with our relationship, I still fought for her; she left three times and each time she came back she would swear never to leave me again only to break her promises in the end. I tried extremely hard to make this work and I was very patient with her. I guess my only mistake was to love her honestly, truthfully and sincerely.

Joe, if it weren't for the kind understanding of my family and the consistent support of my good friends, most probably, I wouldn't be here writing this letter.

Now I realized that what we had going was a sin and I knew that I had to end this affair. But how can I keep the pain from numbing my senses? Joe, she has ruined my life and left me with no peace in mind, and for that I could never forgive her.

Thank you very much and God bless you and your family.

Best regards,
Jojo

-------------------------------------

Dear Jojo,

Everyone knows that an affair with a married person will always be doomed from the start. Not even what others feel as love would be enough to justify illicit intimacy. But it still happens because most of the time strong passionate desires run over our will to do what is right. Sometimes we simply ignore our conscience and just go with the flow of our impaired judgement and biased emotions.

Jojo, you're lucky you have your family and friends. Others have to go through all of the hurt in their lives all by themselves. Don't try to blame Jenny for what you feel. None of these would have happened hadn't you allowed yourself to fall for her charms.

Somehow, you have to admit that you were flattered by her sweetness and the attention she had given you. You gave in even if you knew right from the start that you were on the losing end of a relationship that was never meant for you.

You will never find the peace that you are searching for unless you learn to accept your fate. Unless you find a space in your heart to forgive her. I don't think she ruined your life. You alone are responsible for your actions. Don't pass the blame on anybody. We are what we make our lives, Jojo. Others may fail us but they can only ruin us if we allow them to.

Jojo, don't be bitter because you have loved at all. If we lose someone, that means someone even better is yet to come. Let us always remember that only when we leave our bitterness behind can the love that we have lost be able to find its way into our hearts again.

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called "Smile." The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway, so, I thought, this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special play time with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch...an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling". His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally deficient and the blue eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you."

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope." I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me, Honey. To give me hope."

We held hands for a moment and at that time we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?" I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we, as human beings and being part of God, share this need to heal people and be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn: UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE. Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

Dear Joe,

I find it hard to believe that broken dreams could become a part of my life. I'm truly sad for the simple reason that my life isn't really doing fine. Once in a while, I look back to the past, trying to figure out what went wrong. At 22, I think I've had enough disappointments and frustration in life.

Remembering my school days, it seemed that everything was simple and easier then, the "home-school" routine may prove boring but I understand that's part of growing up. Somehow, I realized learning is a life- long process, for there are bigger lessons in life to learn.

May 1995, I got my first job as a banker. Amidst my pressure-filled work days , I never thought love could come my way. It did but to my disappointment I eventually lost it. After all that's been said and done, I'm still holding on to the memories.

I met Dylan and already liked him the first time I saw him. Even then, he showed signs of interests for me. Though we had no real relationship, I know he had done his part trying to get close to me. Out of foolishness, I was not able to express my real feelings for him. I pretended I didn't care. Maybe I was afraid to take a chance, thinking what we felt was only temporary, considering most of our colleagues were against us. There were times when I intentionally avoided him. But I realized I was in love with him.

I thought that when I met Dylan, the right time had come. I was happy knowing that what I felt for Dylan was something real. Sad to say, nothing seemed right between us.

Each day was disappointing . We kept on fooling around and there were times when I thought of giving up everything, including my job. I never wanted to see him again and stop playing a game I know I'll never win.

But I couldn't let go . It took sometime for me to accept he's not here anymore, that he will never come back to me.

How I wish I had let him known how much he meant to me. I wonder if he's happy , now that he's free. Somehow I can't stop thinking there could be another chance for us to meet again. I'll be waiting for that time.

How can I really face everyday that comes when my mind and heart still lament over the past? To forget the past is to forget Dylan. Joe, I really hope your words of advice can help me clear my mind.

Sincerely yours,
Laarni

------------------------------------

Dear Laarni,

How can we ever forget someone who has been a part of our lives when there is still this silent longing for this person deep inside? An empty hope of bringing back the hands of time and wishing we could have made things right. We can never forget someone we love. It's a simple as that. No matter how hard we try to get someone out of our system, if we still feel for that person then our efforts of letting go will serve no purpose. For all the feeling we've wished to let go will just keep coming back.

I have always believe that in this game called love, people who are afraid to express what they feel always on hold to the losing end. I have never entertained the thought that being a girl would have to keep someone from expressing her affection for a man. Women always have this notion that they should always wait for the guy to make the first move. But not all men are as aggressive as they would like to think. Most men are afraid of being rejected. They will send out signals but will not pursue if they don't see any welcome signs.

It would have been better if you never held your feelings back. Now that Dylan is gone you realize how your insensitivity and fears broke the foundations of what could have been a beautiful relationship. But it's never too late . You are trapped in the past because you have never made your feelings known. It's about time you set yourself free from the clutches of regret and wishful thinking. Let him know , once and for all, the chaos in your heart.

It may be late but what is important is for you get hold of yourself now and let the past just bury itself where bitter memories will be forgotten forever. This revelation is the key to your freedom. Never lose hope, Laarni Miracles do happen. Who knows? Letting Dylan Know what you truly feel could be the start of something beautiful.

Dear Joe,

I am now 23, working in one of the most prestigious consulting firms here in the world. My story started way back in 1993 when I was a junior engineering student in a reputable Manila University. I was one of the seniors in an athletic club, and this was where I met Suzette. She was a photographer in our school organ, and was a new member in the club. I just started to notice her when I found out she had a crush on me. I felt that if Ignored her, she would think of me as being over my head, and if I give her some attention, she might think that I was taking advantage of her.

We had a talk a few days after, and from there, we sort of had this mutual understanding. She was still a stranger to me, but we started to become closer to each other. I would walk her home, write letters to her almost everyday, even visit her.

Later, I told her I loved her; we went steady. Christmas vacation came and she had to go back to her home province. That was the very first Christmas that I spent with a special someone. She wasn't my first love, but she's definitely my first girlfriend.

After Christmas, I was so excited to see her once again. But I was surprised to see she had changed she was as cold as ice. We broke up February'94. She said she couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to cry in front of her and beg her not to leave me. The weekend passed and we talked it over.

It really felt good that night when I walked her home and traded stories as if nothing happened. But happiness and peace of mind were quickly replaced by sorrow and pain when I realized she was really gone. I knew I had to get on with my life.

A month passed and I was surprised and relieved to know that Suzette wanted me back. She promised to make things better and change so that our relationship would work. I couldn't believe it myself, but when she started to show her feelings by being so thoughtful, sweet and caring, I believed her and loved her more.

But fate took a turn for the worse, as summer had come and she had to go back to her province for a vacation. I couldn't go with her because my knee was in a cast all summer that year. When she came back as the schoolyear started, she was cold again and wanted to break up with me. As much as I didn't want to let go, there was no point holding on to someone who didn't want to let go, there was no point in holding on to someone who didn't want me anymore.

We broke up. I became so sad and depressed. All I could think of was her. I barely accomplished my academic requirements, and my performance in the athletic club suffered. I did everything to win her back. But all my efforts produced no results. After six months of doing this, I was ready to give up. I felt weary and drained. but then she started to notice me again.

On January 1, 1995, we went out with some of her friends. We drove to Antipolo for some drinks. I told her I still loved her.

There was the city below us and night sky above us. For a moment, it started to feel that we were going to reconcile again. A few nights after, we watched a musical in Pasig. She was so beautiful, sweet and loving. I was trying hard all night to control myself from falling for her again. I guess I didn't do well, because it was very obvious I still loved her.

January passed and she was again cold to me. It felt like she was just flirting with me. She said it was only I who thought that we were back again, that she was just trying to build some rapport btween the two of us.

Then she started really avoiding me and wrote me a long letter telling me to give it up. There was nothing I could do but let go. That was the time I heard from her. It has been several years now. I bury myself in activities to take my mind off her. It took me almost a year to really accept the fact.

I've learned to live my life without her. But after all this time, I still feel so much for her. I've met other women, gone out with them.

But no matter what I do, no matter who I go with, I always see her face, hear her voice, and feel her inside me. I'm really hoping and praying that I could let her know that I still love her. I've always held back my feelings for Suzette.

There's this fear of being rejected, and feeling all the pain that I've gone through, all over again. I just wanted to get the message that I will always love her.

Sincerely yours,
Wowie

--------------------------------

Dear Wowie,

I used to be so stubbornly in love with someone whom I had always dreamed of spending forever with. And now I see myself in you as I have spent years waiting and believing there is still hope that she might change her mind and not look up to me as her "Kuya." She never did, and I guess she never will.

Wowie, I have learned my lesson the hard way. I had to waste precious time fighting for a love that was never meant to be. Now, as I look back and recall, I realize I could have done so many other things if I weren't so locked up by the binding desire of wanting someone who wasn't meant for me.

I see no reason why you have to hold on to Suzette. You have to accept the fact that she doesn't like you and probably never will. So the wanting and hoping should come to an end now. Don't wait till you're old gray before you come to your senses.

You have been dozed to sleep by her enchanting beauty but you have to wake up now before it's to late. I know there is only one Suzette but you should never forget that there will always be someone better and more deserving of the kind of love that you can offer. Someone who never plays with the feelings of others, who appreciates being loved and sincerely loves back even more.